For the Butler family, the loss of Ray, their beloved husband, dad and grandfather, was a profound shock. Living together on a farm near Iver, three generations of the family were closely intertwined, making Ray's death an especially painful loss.
For the Butler family, the loss of Ray, their beloved husband, dad and grandfather, was a profound shock. Living together on a farm near Iver, three generations of the family were closely intertwined, making Ray's death an especially painful loss.
Now, three and half years after Ray died, the family are especially keen to raise awareness of the support Thames Hospice offers children, after granddaughter Evie-mae, aged just five at the time, received what turned out to be transformational support from our Children and Families Support Team.
Kirsty, Evie-mae's mum says, “After Dad died, my mum, sister and I were all offered counselling and we all did it. I was diagnosed with PTSD at the time.” says Evie-mae’s mum Kirsty.
“It was a few months later, out of the blue, that one of Evie-mae’s teachers phoned me to say there was a problem. She said that Evie-mae was starting to scare some of the other children because she was constantly talking about how she was missing her grandpa and what had happened to him.
“We were put in touch with Heidi, one of the Hospice’s Children and Families Support Workers, and when she visited the school, Evie-mae absolutely loved it. She got so much from it over the three to four months, and it was an absolute godsend. In fact, it completely changed her, and we’ve told everyone about it and that it happened through the Hospice.”
Heidi says, “Evie-mae and I got to know each other and we built a rapport using her favourite toys and games. Evie-mae loved creating things out of Play-Doh and, whilst at first she looked a little fearful or upset when grandpa was mentioned, she soon began to blossom and open up, talking fondly of him and tapping into good memories of him and their life together.”
Evie-mae and her family attended one of the Hospice’s family support sessions after Ray died and they all appreciated this opportunity to meet with others who had experienced bereavement. Heidi adds, “I think Evie-mae was able to express her feelings and understand that it was okay to be sad sometimes and, even though she was very young, she understood that she was not isolated in these feelings and that other young people felt like this.”
So moved by the support she received, Evie-mae, with help from a friend, sold drawings and bracelets they’d made, raising £66 for Thames Hospice. Her father has run a marathon and is planning to do a skydive, while one of Ray’s best friends, with support from the family, organised two classic car shows at Hazlemere Golf Club – all to raise money for the Hospice.
Having experienced the exceptional care and support Thames provides, Kirsty can’t believe how reliant it is on people’s generosity.
“It’s somewhere everyone should have access to and crazy that it’s dependent on the local community to help raise vital funds. There was literally nothing they wouldn’t do for us and we are so grateful for the amazing care and support they gave my father and the entire family.”
Our services are free of charge to all those in our community who need vital hospice care but this is only made possible through the charitable support and generosity of our amazing community. We need to raise £34,000 each day to fund our services 365 days a year to the people who need us most.
We’ve never needed you, our wonderful supporters, more than we need you today. Please donate what you can to help keep hospice care available for those in desperate need.
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