Kath's Story

Phil moving to Thames Hospice was the best thing for him and me. He could have pain relief when needed, which was often, and love, care and attention from all the staff at the Hospice. I could not have wished for anything better for him.

Phil asked the Hospice doctor, who came to see him, “How much will it cost my wife?” The doctor replied that the Hospice don’t charge anything. Phil was an accountant, which is why he was still thinking about the figures. He didn't want it to be a burden on me.

The Hospice had a relaxed atmosphere and you could come and go. Phil had a nice room and the garden just outside. The love, care and attention they gave him, I will be forever grateful for. For instance, I was late one morning. I’d told Phil I would be there at 11am, and he was very anxious. He got the nurses to phone me – we’d taken his phone off him, as he was calling at all times of the day and night whilst in hospital. The Hospice nurses phoned me up to say, ‘Where are you?’ as Phil is asking. It was good of them to do that, nothing was too much trouble for them.

Another day they were giving him a wash – I had to go out. When I got back to see Phil, they'd given him a shave, which I thought was wonderful, because he was always clean shaven. The care that they took… it made me feel he was special to them.

It sounds awkward to say, but really he was one of the lucky ones to get a bed. Until that point I had always thought the Hospice was like an extension of the NHS and that if you need a bed, you get one. I didn't realise that beds and hospices are in such short supply and that really you're lucky to be able to get a bed.

Now six years on, I still love going to the Hospice at the lake. It is very tranquil. I would be lost if I couldn't go there anymore. I've met lots of groups in the cafe, all in the same position. It's a wonderful place. I also love the way there is a Memorial Book with the dates of a loved one's passing. I visited on Phil's anniversary and his name was there, so I took a moment for quiet reflection.

Th Memory Tree means so much to me. I find so much comfort from it. My neighbour and friend, lost her husband last year and has a leaf next to my husband’s on the tree. We both love to come in at least a couple of times a week. We have lunch sometimes, or coffee and cake.

It's so nice where the Memory Tree is on the wall, not tucked away somewhere where people can't see it. You always see people standing there and looking at their names. It's amazing. People like to see it, it brings them comfort. We have met lots of people like us who go regularly and have lost their partners. The staff always make us welcome at the cafe. Everybody makes us be welcome. The Hospice hasn't just been about the caring for Phil, it's been so much more than that, I’d be lost without it.

The Light up a Life service at the Hospice before Christmas is very important to me. I went last year and it was emotional and moving. It's good to be able to remember our loved ones this way and share with other people who are going through grief, the same as you. They should never be forgotten.

I do as much as I can for the Hospice. My daughter also worked in the Hospice shop for a couple of years. It was only when she started working there that she realised how much the Hospice rely on donations and fundraising.

I can't thank Thames Hospice enough for all that you have done for Phil and are still doing for people at the end of life. They couldn't wish for a better place to be. The care, love and attention from everyone…I would like to thank doctors, nurses, carers, any other medical staff. It's not an easy job to do. Also, admins, fundraisers, chefs, volunteers, people at reception…everyone else that works at the Hospice. Everybody is really helpful.

Kath knits Worry Worms to support families and fundraise for the Hospice. They come with a lovely message and packaging and are available at Reception, for a small donation to the Hospice.