Anne's story
Anne, a former nurse, has benefitted from Thames Hospice’s counselling and reflexology services and, for the first time in a decade, she feels emotionally calm, relaxed and listened to.
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- Hospice Story - Anne
Only now, after ten years of caring for her husband, Phil, following his referral to Thames Hospice, is Anne receiving both physical and psychological support for herself.
Anne, a former nurse, has benefitted from Thames Hospice’s counselling and reflexology services and, for the first time in a decade, she feels emotionally calm, relaxed and listened to.
“I was talking to the palliative care nurse who visited us at home shortly after our referral and she likened me to a duck; serene above the surface but paddling frantically beneath. Her advice to stop the paddling was counselling.” she added while enjoying a reflexology session in one of the complementary therapy rooms at Thames Hospice.
Phil’s referral to Thames Hospice followed his decision in October to stop further treatment for the cancer. Since 2016 he’d had major surgery for bowel cancer, extensive radiotherapy for prostate cancer and two-and-half years of chemotherapy for terminal secondary bowel cancer in his lungs. He chose quality of life over quantity.
Anne added, “He told the palliative nurse he wants to be at home as long as he can in the care of the Hospice at Home team but he doesn’t want their house turned into a hospital ward. He wants his final days to be in Thames Hospice. The support I’ve received has come as a very welcome surprise. I knew of the Hospice, but I had no idea how it was funded nor any clue as to the complementary services they offer. The building and its beautiful lakeside surroundings is somewhere you’d want to be. The coffee in their Café is nice too.”
Anne readily admits she was unsure about complementary therapy. “I’d never had reflexology before and I wondered what it would do for me. It gives me a lot and is an experience I’ve really enjoyed. I walk through the door and know it’ll be good.
Caroline, the therapist, is just there and can read exactly what I need that day. Sometimes we just start giggling and the talk through the day’s treatment.” Caroline, who has been working as a complementary therapist, at Thames Hospice for 6 years, specialising in reflexology and massage, says that supporting family carers is an essential part of the Hospice’s care.
“Sometimes people come here and say ‘don’t worry about me, focus on the patient’. I use the analogy of when you’re on an aeroplane and the oxygen mask flops down. They tell you that if you have a baby or young child you should put your mask on first because, if you don’t, you’re no use to the child. I think it’s the same here. If we can look after the carers that’s the best we can do. Everyone needs support and the more you can support those giving the love and care to look after themselves the better they can face what’s coming.”
The psychological support Anne has received has been transformative giving her space to express how she feels.
“The counselling here has helped me go from an emotional wreck to someone who can walk into a room, smile and say, ‘it’s a good day.’ That’s what everyone here gives you, positivity.”
In addition to the care and support services Anne and Phil have accessed, Anne says it’s the responsiveness of the whole Hospice team - and the certainty that someone’ll always be there - it’s a huge source of comfort.
“It’s nice to know there’s always someone there for you, either at the end of a phone or someone who’ll come out to see us. It’s like a hug with no physical contact and that’s the kind of support we need.”
Now Anne would like to raise awareness of the breadth of services available.
“When someone decides he’s not going to have chemotherapy anymore, he’ll move to palliative care, which means he’s going to die very soon. That’s not necessarily the case. There’s a team dedicated to helping you live your life as long and as comfortably as possible as well as being there for you at the end. I don’t think enough people realise that and I hope more could benefit from these brilliant support services.”
Left photo: Caroline & Catharine from our Complementary Therapy Team.
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